Well, the thing got done.

On Monday, I returned to Providence after a little overnight anniversary getaway with my sweet in Ipswich, Massachusetts (great coffee)! As we made the trek home, stopping for food at an Ethiopian restaurant, my inbox was hit with: “History of Atlantic Slavery comprehensive exam” from my professor. I skimmed the questions, feeling something akin-to-but-not-quite-panic come over me. I tried to focus on each word. Could I write on these?

Little Wolf Coffee Roaster (Ipswich, Massachusetts)

Yesterday, in the evening, I sat with my friend at Ceremony and reviewed my Exam for the final time. Twenty-ish pages. I had done the thing. And I did not really feel like revising anymore. So, off it went, into the ethers. My first exam: submitted.

A lot happened before the exam hit my inbox. And a lot happened before I hit send. Here are a few things that went well. And some things that didn’t.

Not for me:

I’m not sure that flash cards are particularly useful for a comprehensive exam. I ended up spending hours writing the title of each book, along with author and publication year, on cute little flash cards—and then color coordinating them based on the historiography (i.e. when they entered the discourse, when they were published). The cards were very aesthetic, and I didn’t really end up doing anything with them. In theory, I was going to lay them all out on the floor, or have my partner randomly choose a couple, and put them in conversation with one another. In practice, I didn’t find/make the time to use them—except for one random time at the park.

Should have been for me:

One thing I wish I had made time for was writing a single sentence for each text. Namely, my professor had recommended that I distill every text down to the main thing that it was doing. The verb, if you will. Was it “troubling,” or “offering,” or “revealing” something? I made a cute document to do this but ended up not having time as I crammed some final books into the last weeks. And I wish this was something that I had started at the beginning of the process back in January. Would have been useful. Also, key words. One sentence, and three key words: *chef’s kiss*

Jury is out:

During my last meeting with my professor, she told me to chill on the reading. That I had read enough. Now was the time for synthesizing. I spent the last week before my exam doing both. Mostly because I was excited to read more. And also, because the protracted experience of studying for my exam (over 7 months) meant that I had been doing a lot of synthesizing already along the way. Not sure if it will be useful in the long term; but in the short term, I did use some of those titles, at least, in my exam.

I left the last day for editing. Meaning, I got all of the writing done in the first two days. I was proud of the last few hours on Day Two, especially, when I really pushed through—took some deep breaths, cleared my head, gave myself a little pep talk—to get the last, drafty words on the page. But then I woke up the next day very tired. And very uninterested (and overwhelmed) in reading twenty-plus pages that I had just finished twelve hours prior. I’m not sure how to strike a balance there—how to make editing not feel like the end of the world. But I hope that I find something before the next exam rolls around. Maybe writing and editing should be split equally across all three days?

Def for me:

Before my final meeting with my professor, she gave me some broad questions to answer. So I did a lot of synthesizing a little over a month ago. And, if nothing else, I think it helped to show me that I had really put the work in. That I really did know things. More things than I knew back in January. And that, as she tried to convince me, I was probably ready. Which is to say, practice-writing is the way. The truth. Blah blah. 10/10. This was also true for the practice exam that I did a few months ago wherein I wrote a syllabus for a class on American Slavery. Any opportunity to synthesize, by writing: very good for me.

I opted to receive my exam in the evening, instead of the morning. This meant that sleep was a bit difficult. I kept waking up and conjuring random book titles in the historiography of Atlantic Slavery. But also, it meant that I could sleep on it before I had to get down to writing. It also meant that I could separate the making of an outline from the actual writing process. So, on that first night, I simply selected the questions I would answer and made a list of all the relevant texts—presumably, the ones that I would write about to answer the question.

I had a really regimented schedule for the 3-day exam period. Pomodoro’d that shit. I tried to wake up around 7 am, and immediately sat down to write. Because I love writing, I was able to channel a sense of excitement—that I got to try to synthesize everything that I had learned in this way. But also I ate at a regular clip (largely thanks to my sweet partner), drank some water, wrote in 30-minute chunks with little breaks, took a longer break in the afternoons to watch X-Men movies, and held to my routines, which currently include Yoga and ceramics. And then I tried to go to bed before 11 pm. This meant that I maybe spent about 12 hours a day in front of the computer doing the thing. Which felt manageable for me. At least for the writing (i.e. not the editing) portion of the process.

Finally, I couldn’t avoid the reality that the world is falling apart and also the Democratic National Convention was going on. So when the Michelle Obama memes and tweets and whatnot found me, I followed them into the depths of a Michelle Obama rabbit hole—and spent my breaks watching each of her convention speeches since 2008. And though the irony is not lost on me that I was doing an exam in Atlantic Slavery while Michelle Obama talked about how great this country is, she’s just got vibes that feel good to me. Also, the fashion. Also, the shaaaaade! (Similarly a fan of Obama’s dick joke.) So, would do again.

Finally, I did get me a little chicken sandwich and waffle fries at the end to celebrate. Always here for a little treat.

All in all, I think this first go at a comprehensive exam went very well. I feel emotionally lighter, though physically tired. And I don’t feel entirely wiped out as I turn to my next exam/the beginning of the semester/all of life’s other demands. I’d give it a 8.7/10.